To the one who wasn’t able to be there on our big day.

“I love you past the moon; and miss you beyond the stars.” // JmStorm

To the one who wasn’t able to be there on our special day.

As you get older you start to realize not everyone you love is going to live to see all your special milestones.  Some wont make it to your first birthday, first day of school, your first dance, your first heartbreak, your graduation, your first “big girl/boy” job, your wedding, your first house, your first child and so on and so forth.  Its depressing and it hurts but you learn it’s the facts of life.

BUT all I can say was it was never supposed to be you.

You were suppose to be laughing at all the throw back pictures of us on the slide show Tyler’s parents put together.  You were suppose to be making all the groomsmen laugh while y’all drank a little too much before groomsmen group pictures.   You were suppose to be at the end of the aisle standing by Tyler while dad and mom gave me away.  You were suppose to be the one to make jokes and tell sweet stories during our wedding to make everyone laugh and cry.  You were suppose to pronounce us husband and wife and make gagging sounds when you said he could kiss his bride. You were suppose to dance the night away with me under the stars to a rap song that we knew every word to.  You were suppose to be there encouraging Ty to shove wedding cake in my face and cheer when he did it.  You were also supposed to send us off on our new adventure as husband and wife.

I should be looking through all our wedding pictures and seeing your smiling face, but all I have is a beautiful picture of a cross necklace with your ashes inside.

I remember telling you randomly while we drove down the road that Tyler and I wanted you to marry us.  You were so excited and said you already knew the embarrassing stories you were going to tell.  Who would have thought 3 years later you wouldn’t be standing at the end; that instead a close friend helped us with a special ceremony to honor you so that I could say you were a big part of our special day.  That instead of those embarrassing stories; mom, dad and Mimi present Tyler with a necklace I had yet to wear because it held your ashes and that was to final.  When Tyler put it around my neck that was to symbolize you giving me away, at that moment I broke down.

I realized you weren’t going to be the one to make jokes and tell sweet stories during our wedding to make everyone laugh and cry.  You weren’t going to pronounce us husband and wife. You weren’t going to be dancing the night away with me under the stars to a rap song that we knew every word to.  You weren’t going to be sending us off on our new adventure as husband and wife.  It broke my heart, on the happiest day of my life a tiny piece was missing…..You.

BUT in that same depressing thought I knew you were there, maybe not in person but in spirit.  You were always there; when Tyler picked out my ring, when he proposed at your memorial run, when we got married in the Catholic church and when we got married later that week under the tree.  You made my wedding so special and filled with love without even being there and for that I thank you.

I miss you more than words can say but I know you will always be with me on some of my biggest milestones and achievements throughout my life.  Thank you for showing me the love that has helped me love my husband through my darkest days.

I love you Colabug to the moon and back forever and always ❤

Photography by: Abigail Thomas @ A Thomas Photography

 

Anything is POSSIBLE if you’ve got enough NERVE // J.K. Rowling

Ft. above

“When the fear takes you down. When the doubt takes you under. When you sink like a stone, and you can’t breathe. When the tears take control. When the demons take over. Won’t be in this alone, you got me.” // Gavin Degraw

I know it has been a while since I have blogged, so I thought I could write about something a little different to get me back into the blogging spirit!  I also had a SPECIAL guest joining the blog today (no peaking)!

Today’s post is about all the amazing celebrities and athletes that took time out of their busy schedule to make sure the kids time at CHOA was a little brighter!  One of the only things Cole looked forward to when in the hospital was seeing which star would be visiting Ryan Seacrest’s radio station that week. Throughout his many years of being stuck in the hospital due to his CF, he met some really amazing athletes and celebrities!

Some of my favorite stories come from the days where he met these stars!  Here are a few stories that will make you laugh and smile.  I’ll give you a hint too who our special guest is (cough, cough) they are in one of these three stories 🙂

I remember getting a text message on July 27th 2013 from one of my close friends, her exact words were “Your brother is famous!!”  Attached to that text message was a picture from Ryan Seacrest’s instagram page, in the picture was Ryan Seacrest and a little girl with the caption “Great meeting Ashlan, @coltonmoorethecanersurvivor, and @colecroteau at @childrensatl today!”  I was shocked (well I mean not really…) here is this guy who is a well known Tv and radio personality giving a shout out to Cole! Cole told us how awesome it was to meet someone that you see on tv every week who is so down to earth in real life.  He gained a few more cool points from me after that 😉

Fun fact: Each year Chick-Fil-A and CHOA team up and send one of the teams participating in the bowl game to Egleston and the other team to Scottish Rite, so that they can visit the kids that are currently stuck in the hospital over the Christmas and New Years holiday.  This is were he met some of the players from the Texas A&M team.  He gushed about how awesome all the guys were and how he has some new friends who are going to the NFL.  After hanging with all the guys, one of the players was interviewed for their hometown news.  After the segment was aired in Texas we were contacted by them to say that a family saw Cole’s story being talked about by one of the players and wanted to give him the 4 tickets that they could not use that year at the bowl game! Cole was so excited because not only was he getting out of the hospital before New Years BUT he also got to watch his new friends play Duke University!

Last but not least here is one of my favorite stories!  Cole had been in love with Jana Kramer since he heard one of her first songs on the radio.  So when he found out she would be in the studio on May 22nd, 2014 he was first in line!  He told me he was star struck when she walked through the door to sit down and start the interview.  Cole being Cole wanted to remember the moment that he heard her sing live,  in that video she sang “Why Ya Wanna” and we were shocked once he sent it to us!  During the video you can see her looking in his general direction (she was singing to ALL the kids) but when she got to the lyrics that said “I wish ya had on sunglasses, To cover up those blue eyes” she points to him and said ‘you have the bluest eyes’ ( we have the video somewhere).  At that moment he was in heaven, he got to take a sweet picture with her and blushed when she said that if she was younger she totally would have asked him out ❤  He talked about that meeting for months!

If you scroll down you can FINALLY see who I was lucky enough to interview! (drum roll please)

Josh and Cole!

“Aim for Heaven and you get earth thrown in, aim for earth and you get neither.” // C.S. Lewis

So if you haven’t already skipped to the end to see who my special guest is prepared to be jealous!  Meet Josh Lambo, he is the kicker of the San Diego Chargers.  He was also a goalie on the U17 & U21 US mens World Cup team and the kicker for Texas A&M (War Eagle all the way but we did cheer for him a few time…..).

Cole met Josh at CHOA December 27th 2013.  Josh and his Texas A&M teammates were in Atlanta for that years Chick-Fil-A bowl (they won that year!) If you read above you can guess where  Cole’s friendship with a future NFL kicker began!  So without further adieu here is the much anticipated interview:

How did you meet Cole?                                                                                                                              Josh: I met Cole when we were visiting Egleston.  I remember sitting down and talking to him about a bunch of different things.  We were suppose to get up and go to other tables but I remember just sitting there talking to him the whole time.

Did you know what Cystic Fibrosis was before you met Cole?                                                      I knew of it but I did’t really know anything about it. I knew it was something people could have but I did’t know the effects of it.

Was there anything that you took away from meeting Cole?
His ambition. How he was still in school and all the things he was doing with Cole’s Commanders made me think well what am I doing with my life? This kid had limited time out of the hospital but from what I knew he made the most out of all that time, and he utilized it, not just for himself but also to help other people. I just thought that was really really powerful. That with the little bit of freedom he had, a lot of it was helping other people. That was very very admirable.

Besides CF what did y’all talk about?
We talked about football and just chit chatted like “Hey man how are you doing today? What’s happening? What’s going on this week?” I tried to encourage him about what was going on but more often it was the other way around. I was trying to get him to a game and that is how I sort of found out. Your dad had called me, he was suppose to come to our opener in 2014 which was my Senior year of college. Our opener was at South Carolina, I had tickets reserved for him but I think your dad had told me he had to go back in to the hospital and couldn’t make it. Then they were going to come to the Alabama game later on in the season. I was leaving that Thursday practice and your dad had called me to tell me, I had to pull over on the side of the road. That moment was super hard for me because I was super excited to see him again.

Anything else you want to say?
I still think of him a bunch. I have defiantly told other people about him about how cool of a dude he was. He had an infectious spirit, he was just a cool kid. The biggest thing I could remember about him was he had this confidence and this swagger. He didn’t act like he was in a hospital or that he had anything wrong, he was just cool and one of the guys. Im honored to call him my friend and proud to have known him, and he is definitely not going to be anyone I’ll ever know again.

I want to thank every celebrity and athlete who Cole got to meet while in the hospital, each and every one of them touch his life one way or another.  Especially the guy above,  we can not thank you enough for being an amazing friend to Cole and making him feel truly special.   As Cole’s older sister I am so happy he got to experience so much in his young life.  I am so happy he got to LIVE!

I hope you enjoyed and as always dream BIG ❤

AC

How the men of ΣΑΕ became apart of my family!

“That’s all a man can hope for during his lifetime – to set an example – and when he is dead, to be an inspiration for history.” //William McKinley

For as long as I remember Cole had always wanted to be apart of a brotherhood. Somewhere where he would feel like a normal college student.  We always knew he would join a fraternity; He always talked about it, he dressed like one all the time AND he even had his twitter username set as @Frattildeath at one time (we laughed at him a lot).  He knew that he was going to be apart of one, no matter what it took!

Before I really start this heart warming story I need to tell you, Cole had never been to hangout with a fraternity before he was 15.  He didn’t know exactly what it entailed just what he saw on tv or heard about from others.  One of those people was my wonderful boyfriend Tyler!  Tyler was like the OLDER brother Cole never had.  In those eight years they formed a bond that only they understood.  They  were both sarcastic jokesters that loved sports and the outdoors!  Tyler was actually the person who took him to his first ever fraternity hang out on MLK day.

The first time Cole met the boys of SAE (at Southern Poly Tech or now Kennesaw State) he instantly felt at home.  All I heard on the way home is how awesome they were and how that is the fraternity that he wanted to be apart of.   From that moment on Cole kept in touch with them over social media and the phone.  A few of the guys even came to help us out at the Cole’s Commanders Golf Tournament the fist year (and all the years following).  Cole even went back up to the house to hangout with them, even though Tyler had class.  Over the next couple of years Cole bonded with one guy in particular (well besides Tyler and Nolen).  Adam Lowe became one of Cole’s best friends and older brothers.

On the day of Cole’s passing not only did I have my wonderful boyfriend to lean on but also our best friend Nolen (also an SAE).  Nolen and Tyler called Adam to inform him of his passing, he in turn got a few of the brothers together and drove 45 min so they could show their support to my family.  They also drove the hour to our hometown just to attend his funeral.

Over the next couple of months they were always helping out in one way or another. Whether it was just a text of support or putting a fundraiser together in his name to give to our foundation.  They showed my family what it means to be a “True Gentlemen” and we will forever be thankful for them!

In late August Adam asked Tyler and me to dinner.  At this dinner he told us how much he and the fraternity cared about Cole and how he always felt like a brother.  He then told us that because of this he had been working on getting Cole initiated as a brother of Sigma Alpha Epsilon.  With this honor Cole is one of only two people to be posthumously initiated. On September 27, 2015 (the day before the year anniversary of Cole’s passing) Cole became a brother of SAE!

It’s hard for me to express just how grateful I am to the men of SAE. Their generosity and selflessness is truly one of a kind. So I would like to say thank you….Thank you everyone from SAE who has been there for me and my family.  Thank you for your continued fight for a cure.  AND thank you for making my brother’s dream of becoming apart of not just any brotherhood but this brotherhood.  I know he is smiling down from heaven wishing yall an amazing founders day!

So now I would like to wish yall a happy founders day. Keep up the amazing work!

Let New Adventures Begin!

The world is BIG and I want to have a good look at it before it gets DARK. \\ John Muir

As I reflect on 2015 I look back and see it was filled with many highs and some lows.

This year was the first year we had to celebrate Cole’s (18th) birthday without him here on earth.

We also had to deal with knowing that it has been a whole year without hearing his laugh or seeing his contagious smile.

But between all of my mini break downs and missing him; I realized that he was still there with me throughout all my high points too.

He was there when I decided to make a bucket list to all 50 states to honor his dream of travel.  He was there when I also stepped out of my comfort zone to begin writing this blog about new adventures and living with a brother who had CF.

He was there when we celebrated my adventure partner and other half graduating from college AND getting his dream job!  Plus he was there when Tyler and me took the next step towards our future and moved into our first place together.

He was there when I was nominated for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation’s 2015 Peachtree Society.  Where I had the pleasure of meeting some amazing people and raise money for the cause so close to my heart!

And he was there when I went back to the place where we lost him, for the first time in over a year, just so I could give joy to kids who were stuck in the hospital for Christmas.

His love still shines on me every morning when I wake up; because of that no matter how many times I stumble Cole will always be by my side laughing at me while helping to pick me up!

This year continued to show me what true love and friendship really is, and I couldn’t ask  for better people to surround myself with in this journey I call life.  Thank you for everything you have done to make this past year a little easier to handle.

I can’t wait to see where this year take me and I can’t wait to share this Journey with you! Here’s to amazing friends and new ADVENTURES!

As always DREAM big!

AC

 

Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself. \\ Good Will Hunting

                             

I feel more than I know how to express. I’m heartbroken. To be honest, I don’t even know how we’re all supposed to move forward. \\ Will Schuester

It’s been one year.

One year without hearing your contagious laugh and seeing your smile.

One year without hearing your voice telling me what a loser I am and how I am the best sister in the world.

One year without yelling at you to just shut up and stop arguing with mom and dad.

Everyday has been some sort of struggle for me and everyone who loves you. I miss our funny picture text back and forth, and our stupid jokes to each other. I miss your outrageous stories and your sarcastic ways. I miss you showing me all those YouTube videos and rap songs that you loved. I miss your fratastic style and divaish ways. Most of all I miss you scaring me with clown mask, pictures and videos (if you know me I HATE clowns).  
  

I never thought I would have to live without you here on this earth. I love all the memories that we have shared but knowing I won’t have anymore kills me. I can’t wait to tell my future kids how amazing you were and how much you loved them without even meeting them. You would have been an amazing uncle and it breaks my heart knowing they will never meet you in person.  

You continue to be an inspiration and hero to many. Your kindness and you soul continue to be seen day in and day out. Thank you for pushing me towards my dreams and everything I do in life is because of you. I am thankful to have you as my guardian angel and can’t wait to see you again one day. You will always be in my heart and mind. I love you to the moon and back forever and alway my baby brother 💜 

Happy 18th Birthday Baby Brother // We love and miss you!

“It’s not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.”

Dear Sweet Baby Brother,

Last Friday was your first heavenly birthday, and even though we are excited that you got to blow out your candles with NEW lungs we sure did miss you down here. We missed your BIG smile and contagious laugh and I think I speak for everyone when I say it just wasn’t the same without you. I personally miss our Birthday game of trying to be the first and last person to text Happy Birthday by texting each other the day before and the day after. I thought about just doing it to ease some of the hurt but as most of us have learned these past 9 months your phone number has been inhabited by an older man (who I am pretty sure is really tired from getting random texts from people he doesn’t know).

As I sit here writing this letter I reminisce about our past birthdays shared together. One in particular makes me tear up and smile with amazing memories. Since you were born so close to July 4th our parents decided to have a Red, White and Blue party for you. I can’t remember exactly how old you were turning (I want to say 1) but I remember they had you dressed in that years Old Navy 4th of July t-shirt, you know the one that basically every mom in the USA made their families wear so everyone matched. I also remember the cute invitations with the made up song set to the tune of Yankee Doodle. I think it went something like this “Cole is turning 1 today, come join the celebration, lots of food and drinks to have, for Cole’s Birthday celebration” (I think the ending was different). All of our friends and family where there to help celebrate that special day! I will forever hold that day in my heart with the funny memory of you singing to everyone while we cut the cake.

I know it took me almost a week to write this but it was hard. It was hard because I realized that this is the first of many of your birthdays I won’t get to spend with you in the flesh. It was hard because I have such conflicting feelings when it comes to you being in heaven. I know it’s selfish of me to want you here, now that you have had your taste of freedom from the grips of Cystic Fibrosis, but I’m human and if I had it my way I would be spending many more birthdays with you. I am also happy knowing that you are in a much better place but like everything else it still doesn’t make it better. You left this amazing legacy behind that gave everyone something to celebrate this past Friday and I hope you enjoyed the view from where you were sitting.

To you Cole, I hope when it’s my time we can make up for all those birthday celebrations missed! As for everyone else, my advice to you is to celebrate every birthday with the ones you love because you never know when it might be the last.

Happy Birthday Colabug!

I love you forever and always to the moon and back!

AC

“To live will be an awfully BIG adventure” \\ Peter Pan

“A true hero isn’t measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart.” \\ Hurcules

On to the second stop on our #Coles50StateBucketList Disney World in Orlando, Fl

A couple weeks ago I visited the ‘Happiest Place on Earth’ with my second family! This was a much needed vacation from such a busy couple of months and I am so thankful that they let me tag along. I had only been to Disney two times before this last trip, once when I was 6 and the other when I was 13. I am very thankful that I did get to experience Disney with my brother, even if he was too little (or scared) to ride many of the rides! That time together was well worth the wait in line to have him turn around and say I don’t want to do this ride anymore.

 Disney is the place where you can ‘Wish Upon a Star’ and your dream will come true, and as much as I would love to have my dream of Cole being by my side physically I know he was there spiritually laughing right along with me (or at me knowing my brother). So without further adieu here are some of my favorite moments from my #Coles50StateBucketList Disney trip!!

Day One- Epcot & Hollywood Studios

We started our vacation in Epcot, and what a way to start it off! There is something about seeing the iconic golf ball looking building up close a personal to get you excited for the day. After we soared over California and flew to Mars we took a walk through 11 countries tasting Mexico’s margaritas and Germany’s beer all before lunch with the princesses. After lunch we walked around some more then headed to the boat that would take us to our next park. Hollywood Studios, or as I remember it as MGM, is a story in its own. Back during my first visit to Disney World we came to MGM, and I road the Tower of Terror for the first time at the age of 6. Let’s just say I might have cried for my mom on the way down while sticking my head into my dad armpit. So this time around was my chance to conquer my fears and dominate this ride, which I did, we road it twice that day and all I did was scream and laugh in delight! Next we went on Rock ‘n’ Roller-coaster, which is an amazing ride that is set to Aerosmith songs, I love me some Aerosmith and roller-coasters, so all in all it was probably my favorite ride. After our adventure with R2D2 and C3PO and waiting in line for an hour to ride the awesome Toy Story ride we finished our day with the Tower of Terror and Rock n Roller-coaster at midnight and headed home.

Day Two- Magic Kingdom

Day two was the day I was most excited for, Magic Kingdom!!! When you walk through the gates to Old Time Main Street and see Cinderella’s Castle you just get sooooo excited. That moment had me forgetting all about my ‘grown up’ worries and just made me feel like a 6 year old once again. Once we took our much needed picture in front of the castle we were off because of course we picked a fast pass early in the morning so we literally had to RUN to Big Thunder Mountain (if you have every been to Disney you know that BTM is on the OPPOSITE side of Disney). To everyone’s surprise this was the first time I would be riding Big Thunder Mountain and Space Mountain, I was so excited I literally danced!! After my arms thrown in the air windblown experience with BTM we headed to Space Mountain which I learned is scary fun! If you haven’t ridden it yet let me just tell you at times you might feel like you are about to hit your head or you hand (if you raised them) but that was the amazing part of it the fear adds to the ride experience! We had a little time before our Italian lunch so we HAD to ride Aladdin’s Magic Carpet Ride because Aladdin is my favorite movie and I’m a child sometimes. When we were flying it took me back to a much simpler time when I was little and would always have to be Jasmine when playing princesses making Cole play the monkey. After an amazing lunch we split up with Tyler’s parents going back to the hotel with Grayson to nap and the rest of us running around riding different rides. Later after we ate dinner and all met back up The rest of the day was spent riding rides and sharing old and new memories with each other.

  

 Day Three- Animal Kingdom

Animal Kingdom is an adventure in its own. If you love animals then you will love this park like us! When we first got there we headed to DinoLand USA where we were transported back in time to retrieve a Dinosaur and spun on an old time dino roller-coaster. We then headed to Asia to Expedition Everest where we rode through the Himalayas and encountered a Yeti. We had a fast pass for this ride (of course) so the girls road it first while the guys waited with Grayson. Tyler and his dad talked this ride up so much that I was so excited to ride it!! When we got seated and the ride started it was a slow climb to the top. Once we got there I kept on thinking about how Tyler raved about how fast and fun this ride was, yet it was fun but not fast. That is when it happened; all the sudden we were flying backwards in the dark and it wasn’t the same way we had came. Once the ride had finished and we met the guys to switch Sarah, Amanda and I left Grayson with Tyler’s mom so we could run and get in line for Kali River Rapids. Once everyone got soaking wet on the Rapids we went and grabbed a bite to eat then headed to Kilimanjaro Safaris. This ride was amazing! You get to ride in an open-sided safari vehicle for an expedition to see many African animals freely roam through acres of savanna, rivers and rocky hills. We got to see elephants, black rhinos, cheetahs, gazelles, zebras, hippos, lions, Nile crocodiles, giraffes, and white rhinos! After our 30 min safari we walked around and took pictures then headed to Sanaa for a steak dinner where we could watch animals roam the grounds! Since Animal Kingdom closes earlier then all the other parks we headed to Downtown Disney to look around then headed home to get much needed sleep before our last day.

 Day Four- Hollywood Studios & Magic Kingdom

Our last day was our “lazy day” for sure (just Tyler and Me)! Both parks were equally busy but the wait times weren’t as bad and when you’re in the magical land of Disney with your partner in crime you tend to not worry about how long you have been standing in line. We started the day riding Tower of Terror then running over to Rock ‘n’ Roller-coaster and just like the last five times they were a blast! After the two main rides were out of the way we decided to walk around and see the sights that we might have missed from the first day. This led us to the Live Action Indiana Jones Stunt Show, which of course we had to stop in and watch because one Its Indiana Jones and two Tyler THINKS we are going to name one of our future children Indiana Jones(not happening). The show was just how I remembered it from my first visit, well sort of; the only thing I remembered from the first time was the big ball rolling over Indiana Jones. It was mesmerizing to watch all the flips, tricks and the joy in their face as they do something they love! After the show it was time to say goodbye to Hollywood Studios and hop on over to Magic Kingdom. This time we had later fast passes for our three favorite rides in the park so there was no running to the rides. While we waited for our ride times we lazily walk to the Mad Hatter Tea Cups which is a must ride for any Disney adventure. Waiting in line was probably one of my favorite things to do during this ride, seeing all of the little kids dressed up as their favorite Disney princess\prince\character laughing and smiling while spinning in cups with their loved ones. We of course had to spin super fast because we are big kids and yes I did feel a little sick afterwards. The rest of the night was spent walking hand in hand browsing every land and riding our designated fast pass rides while also getting stuck on splash mountain (thank goodness I didn’t get suck by the drunk pirate on the Pirate of the Caribbean ride like I did when I was 6).

As we were leaving Magic Kingdom for the last time, they were starting the ‘Celebrate the Magic’ on Cinderella’s Castle. While walking down Main Street towards the exit we heard a little girl turn to her mom and say “Look mom it’s Tinkerbell! How did she get up on the castle so fast?” She sounded so innocent and excited. At that moment I realized that this whole week was not just a vacation from a few busy weeks of work or weekends of charity golf tournaments and college graduations, but it was also a vacation from the struggles that I have been trying to over come this past year. For that week I wasn’t the women who lost her best friend 9 months ago I was that innocent little girl who was in wonder of meeting my favorite princess and riding my favorite rides. What I would give to go back to my innocent years of singing “A Whole New World” as we passed the water tower in down town Newnan or dressing up Cole as a girl while I performed “It’s a Hard Knock Life” from Annie. That week spent at Disney was amazing and as silly as it sounds opened my eyes up to a lot of things that I have been struggling with. For that little girl I hope she never loses the wonder that I heard in her voice because once gone it takes a lot to get back (I’m slowly getting mine back thanks to my amazing friends and family). The advice that I leave with you till our next adventure is this; if you ever lose your wonder find the place that takes YOU back to your ‘happy’ days and go there, life is too short to wait.

2 down 48 to go!!

AC

We’ll fulfill our dreams and we’ll be free

 “It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.” //Finnick Odair (Hunger Games)

First off I want to thank everyone who helped me put together the 3^rd Annual Cole’s Commanders Golf Tournament this past weekend.  Without your help it wouldn’t have been possible.  As you know this is the first BIG fundraiser we held since my brothers passing and it’s only fitting that it was the one that brought the Cole’s into our life.

This past week has been a very emotional one.  There were times I wanted to throw my hands in the air and give up, but then I thought about Cole and how no matter what he would never give up.  I realized that even though he is no longer here in person he still has yet to give up, that what we are doing now is because we want to carry on his legacy that is so much bigger than us.  In his 17 years of life he has done more then most people have done in their 80 years.

 Growing up with Cole was an adventure to say the least.  I can’t tell you how many times he would cuss me up and down saying “This was the worst day ever!!”  Then in the same breath say I was the best sister in the world and how much he loved me.   He was a spoiled hard headed evil little monkey that was the kindest most caring person you would ever meet.  God, family and friend always came first in his eyes; his disease always took a back seat when someone he cared about was in pain.  After his passing we learned of all the amazing things he did in his life time.  We learned of bullies that he stopped from harming others, Bible verses he send to people who were having a bad day and just how may people he brought to God.  Cole might have been a typical teenage boy in many ways but when it came to his passion of helping others he was wise beyond his years.

Not having Cole by my side this past weekend was another milestone I needed to overcome.  He was always the level headed one when it came to our projects, even though I was the one doing most of the work, he would tell me “what ever happens, happens its in Gods hands.”  When I got home that late that night I cried.  I cried from the sadness of not having Cole by my side, I cried from the relief that the stressful day was over but I also cried because we met an amazing goal that day.  The money raised helps with my brother’s dream of helping other CF families who are in need.

I know there are more mountains I still have to climb in the upcoming years.  Some are just hills while others will be compared to Mount Everest but with the people I love by myside and Cole looking down on me I know I can do anything.

Never Stop Wondering…..Never Stop Wandering

Hey ya’ll! So I’m new to this whole blogging thing and I thought I would give it a try.

My Hero….This is for you.

I hate starting something with sadness but to understand why I’m doing this it’s a must. On Sept. 28, 2014 my brother lost his battle with Cystic Fibrosis at the age of 17.  He was an amazing person and always put others before himself. His dream, besides helping others, was to travel to all 50 states. When he passed away my boyfriend and I decided that we would keep his dream alive by visiting all 50 states and documenting our adventures. I have decided to create this blog to detail my travels and to write about my life living with a brother who was born with Cystic Fibrosis. I hope to give ya’ll insight on who Cole (my brother) was from my point of view.

So here is my story and our travels for Cole’s 50 State Bucket List!

Enjoy!

Alexandra Croteau